Change

I missed a day of blogging yesterday. I guess I will probably miss lots of days in the future, it just seems a shame to mess up so early on. But I am being far too harsh on myself here. I have not messed up. I made no promise to anyone about anything. This is just a place for me to express myself, whenever I feel like it. Guilt has no place here – so I will not allow it in. I will give it to God and tell Him that it’s not for me, that feeling. Continue reading

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Good days

Good days sneak up on you, I think. Just when I feel like I’m mired under all this struggle and pain and bullshit, a good day sneaks up and opens the door. The sun pours in and suddenly I have perspective. And it’s astonishing. Because all the scary things that have seemed so dark and ominous are suddenly revealed to be little and helpless and flopping about ineffectually on the floor, not looming over me like scary giants.

Because in the light is God’s love. And His love is more powerful than ANYTHING. Continue reading

Bad days

We all have good days and bad days. Generally a bad day starts with sleeping in, or spilling coffee on your favourite tie. You miss the bus or even get hit by a bus. But bad days are generally few and far between.

Today, I am angry. Because my bad days seem to come so often. Outwardly, you might have no idea that I’m having a bad day, because I hide it all so effectively. But inwardly, I’m spiralling downwards and I feel like I’m totally out of control. Continue reading

Why Blogging?

I started this site a couple of days before the New Year, in some free time squeezed out between shift work and sleeping. I don’t know if God gave me the idea for the blog or if He will just use it because I have started it. I love to write, and He gave me the gift of writing well (which I have to practise and polish, obviously!). But until today I have been struggling to know what to write.

And then, as always, when I’m not paying attention, inspiration struck. Continue reading